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TRUE STORY
A life that is once in Christ and goes out, such life’s returning will be some how difficult, or let me say life with Christ and turns out to be without Christ leads to nowhere and heading for catastrophe, I mean spiritual catastrophe. Eventually such life will be held bound from the kingdom of God and welcomed in the kingdom of darkness.
This is a part of the story of my life that I will never forget. For me to communicate this was somehow not allowed; let me say by the flesh, but by God’s grace I will use the Spirit man to put this in writing because I have been restored and recovered. “By the flesh” I mean; anytime I plan on sharing this story with any one, something else usually came up and eventually it skips. But those who read this will know that I speak from the in depth of my heart full of regret and the heart that is conscious of heaven. The flesh knows that if I am able to say this to anybody, I will totally be free from the kingdom of darkness, and the devil will be angry; which is what I want. I have shared some part of it with someone but not the in depth, not my regret. The person I shared it with doesn’t deserve it, maybe it’s for my own selfish desire. She’s not spiritual; I only shared the part she would want to hear just like someone making confession about his or her past relationship to someone who’s about to start a new relationship with.
The day I told – “the so-called instrument of unrighteousness” – the devil used against me, she became angry and forsook me; though she had forsaken me before then. The Bible says that “every man is being tempted when he is drawn away of his own lust and enticed” and also says “There has no temptation taken you but such as is common to man…” (James 1:14; 1 Cor. 10:13) She was supposed to be my convert, but later I lusted after her and she became a weapon; which I have been warned against.
Year 2006, I went to one of our Church’s youth’s house (which I was the leader) where a vigil was scheduled to hold, I saw this girl at night; though I did not get her real appearance because it was dark; what I thought then was to talk with her maybe the word of God or that she could join us during the vigil because she was staying in the same house, but later that night I learnt that she won’t be able to join us because she doesn’t usually sleeps alone in her room, she joins her friend in the next house. So before I left that place the following morning I left her a message written in paper. Through the message, I introduced Christ to her and later on brought her to the Church; she claimed to accept, which seems to me that she accepted, but she didn’t accept, Christ.
So-many times I have to persuade her to come to church; what kind of born again was that? To cut the long story shot, I became a Christian-friend with her, I went to see her almost everyday, not knowing that one day she was going to be used by the devil against me. Meanwhile, I haven’t been warned and I refused to warn myself. Though I had nothing dirty in mind concerning this lady during my visitations; all I ever thought was that she was my convert.
Closeness to opposite sex attracts desire of the flesh that is why as a Christian one must be very careful of getting too close and familiar with those who are not genuinely born again (some claim to be born again) even born again in order to avoid temptation. My aim then was to move close to her so I can teach her the word of God; and there has not been any day I really teach her the word of God; although I would have made preparation for the word, but it was unreasonable matter I would meet on ground. Later on my thought for her changed, I don’t think of her as my convert again, I began to think of her being my girlfriend (sinner-friend, rather) which was never been my thought to anybody; even before I met her. One day I wrote her love letter, I can’t even really say what came over me for trying such move, but she refuse to reply pretending not to understand; instead she took me as a friend, which I didn’t take that way. I have no idea that she was already in sinful relationship with someone else which didn’t occur to me that she could be in such “mess”. Not being mixed with such environment doesn’t make me think of her having boyfriend (I discovered this when I was entrapped by Satan; which was my own fleshy desire, then). She didn’t mock me; you know some will say “and you claim to be a pastor”, maybe she thought that will are equal, that our lifestyle was different from each other (she would be wrong, though I have been “unequally yoked”).
Year 2007, we became so familiar that every day we can’t do without calling each other (we are no longer in the same town by then), she knew all my movement, plans, journeys; and even the day I went to purchase Pre-ND form in Federal Polytechnic, Ado-Ekiti; I answered all she ever asked me. All these made me had the feelings that 'yes she was the one for me and me for her’ (I thought as a fool). But later on we loose contact.
Unfortunately for me before we lose contact, she bought Pre-Degree form in University of Ado-Ekiti, that same year; meaning we are in the same town and state. She visited me thrice; she spent the night in my place during her second visitation. Her staying for the night wasn’t intentional, but I convinced her using the curfew announced by the state government then as an excuse, because it was getting dark before she could talk of going home. That night, nothing unusual happened, as you would think, though we slept on the same 2½ by 2 inches bed imagine how small it would be, the closeness. The following morning, I wanted to kiss her but she had ready painted her lips, so she used that as an excuse, I only gave her peck on the cheek. I have had series of thought and practice in my mind of how I would demonstrate of approaching her that I wanted a kiss, and this happened after I have closed the window getting set to get out of the house.
We only lost contact for some couple of months. It was late in one night, it was February, 2009. I kept my phone on the window while it was set to vibration, at about 8 O’clock, the phone rang, but I did not know until it was midnight that I saw missed call with number that was not stored on my phonebook. I borrowed one of my roommates’ cell phone which had a free-call, and I called the number, at first I was surprised by the voice I heard over the phone, it was her; I have forgetting everything about her, I have forgotten she ever existed. Her voice wasn’t that hard for me to recognize over the phone.
During this period I was preparing to establish a campus fellowship, so this had made me forgotten everything about her; because she was the only girl I ever thought about and when she refuses to dance to my tune, I have to let go. Over the phone, she accused me of not contacting her, but I said that her phone wasn’t reachable, and then she now confessed that she changed her number, she claimed to have gotten my number from her friend who happened to have my number. We chatted for some minutes; we later resulted to “when are you going to visit me”, she said that to me, I said I will visit her after the examination. It was two weeks before our examination then and we got two weeks for the examination; making one month, but she said that was too long. She said with a tone as if she had been expecting me for so long and like I should be by her side the next day. The tone deceived me, not knowing that it was an entrapment of the devil concerning what I was planning – founding a School Christian Fellowship – the Bible says “who shall ascend to the hill of the Lord, or who shall stand in His Holy place; he that has a clean hand and a pure heart”. This is the requirement for this type of plan I was embarking upon. But I was not careful enough to figure out the devil’s devices, I didn’t picture her as threat, I had to tell that she should be expecting me come Friday of the same week, that was 13th March, 2009 (the call was made on Wednesday). God wanted to save me from this calamity, but I was like a chick that’s being saved from danger, complaining to have been held from enjoying himself. The day I was supposed to visit her, in the afternoon I received a call from Pastor Opeyemi Enoch (My Spiritual Father), informing me that we should hold vigil that same day, I dare not refuse him, this prevented me from visiting her that day. When I informed her that I wouldn’t be able to make it that day, she said that wouldn’t be a problem, then she asked when I will come, I told her the next day, which was Saturday.
To be fore-warned is to be fore-harmed, during prayer on the mountain after I have gained admission and after contacting this girl, but not to the extent of committing sin; there was prophesy that was told about me saying that a girl will come my way in order to divert my attention from faith. Though I prayed against it and me, I have self confidence that my level in faith, no one can divert my attention from Christ. I did not think of her, my thought was another person who I have not meet, preparing so that when she comes I will overcome but all was a mere flesh thought, not knowing that she was already near me. I was careless!
Come Saturday 14th of March, 2009, I went to visit her; before I went there, it was even from Pastor’s house that I went. It happened that I used to take lesson with someone next to Pastor’s house, so before my departure he was aware, and asked me where I was going because of my unusual dressing on a normal day, like was attending a ceremony, I told him I wanted to visit a friend in UNAD not specifying whether male or female, he seems little suspicious but he had no choice to my freedom, he gave me N200 as a transport fare which I used to buy Apple for my death (ironically).
I got there in the afternoon, she prepared food for me, which I ate part of it, because I couldn’t eat in her presence like I used to eat at my own place. We have lots of discussion throughout that period, till it was getting dark I didn’t even thought of leaving, though I thought so but my flesh is not willing to leave such a beautiful site and sonorous voice that have been seen or heard for quite sometimes.
Later that night she had a call from one of her friend who’s staying in long distance saying that she was around her premises, and that she will be spending the night in her place, but she said she was not at home and that she should have called before that time to know if she was at home. What a dilemma! It was late in the night, this girl had nowhere else to go and vehicle had stopped working for that day. This girl had to come to her house to see if she can stay in her room for that night though she was not at home, but she had informed her on the phone that someone was already there. During this period my heart had begun to pound like it would flew out of my mouth, everything became worse when she came to the door knocking, I was the one that answered the door, not allowing her to see the inside, this was our plot. I told this girl that Vivian was not at home that I was the one staying. This girl had to sleep the next room with someone she doesn’t know. What will she do, poor girl! During this period Vivian had planned with her neighbors that she was not at home in case… and she switched off her phone. In my mind I knew that this girl knows that she was lying to her because of all her actions on the phone.
I had shower that night, after that case had been settled, she also took bath; everything was dark and silent, probably it was around 10pm. We went in slept on the same bed, but later I think she found out that I couldn’t slept well in the middle of the night, so she kissed me and we began to kiss each other. In my heart, I thought she wanted me to have sex with her, but I didn’t wanted to have sex; I have not had it before, maybe that was why I didn’t wanted it. The kiss lasted for some minutes, during this period we had some discussions; like, “how are we defining this relationship?” she asked me. What she meant was that, was the relationship casual or will it lead to marriage? She also asked that if I had prayed about it, all my answers are positive. So at around 3am we slept; and before we slept after the kiss, she said, “are you now satisfied”, she was referring to me maybe I want more, but I replied with an unsatisfied voice. That was the beginning.


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